Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize