what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
