Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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