how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My ass is underappreciated
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
