She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize