We named our party play list daddy issues
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They have beer where we have blood.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
