im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
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My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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