you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
