tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
