There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
