she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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