remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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