peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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