Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
