just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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