Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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