Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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