I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wanna passion pit in your ass
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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