that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
