Four minutes until I can fart!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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