i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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