Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
