Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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