I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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