He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
