OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize