Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
