U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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