I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we're making bets on your personal life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Congratulations! We have a period
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