this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
