I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
