May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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