why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
