His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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