I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
