Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
