Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
being pregnant is like rehab
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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