we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
