I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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