I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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