Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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