I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
