you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
