So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
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Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
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When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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