It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
