Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
