How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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