She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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