oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I AM VODKA MAN
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
