i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
