you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize