It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That's intense
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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