if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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