I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
