What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
