You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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