some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
